Finding out the truth is never that easy, but it would be easy if you would just accept it. Then it would be easy to move on... Do you know what it feels like to be fooled by someone? I bet if you're in my position right now you'll go crazy insane! That feeling you thought it would last forever, but it will never be, when you thought that face that's in your mind for a very long time is the one you're communicating with.. BUT.. so unfortunate enough that it wasn't him:) That face in my mind, every part of him that i think of everyday WAS OVER. When i knew the truth that it was fake, it drove me confusingly if I'm just dreaming or what. But I know it's the reality, reality that i must face on.
I was so confused at that time, he didn't even bother to explain or talk to me when I found out the truth! So then I spread the truth. But I shouldn't have said it.. i feel so guilty for destroying him to other people, in fact i know he is not that evil. I'm one in his life that understands him more than anything else. But I can't get those words back anymore, I'll just wait the time to pass by and forget everything that happened. I just want to move on from the past, not by forgetting him but forgetting all the terrible happenings. For I believe people can change. for i know in his heart, there is still a smooth part there that could change him.
In-spite of all the things he have done to me, i know in my heart that I forgive him. Let's just say that people commit mistakes and we're imperfect. But it takes a little time to prove himself again to me,
even if I still have this feelings.. I'm trying to control it. To hide my real feelings, for I know I'm in confusion. I just wanted to see him, the way he looks, the way he smiles, everything on him. Maybe if I could ever see him, I can figure out my real feelings. That maybe... maybe it's not the face that i'm after before, that i didn't fall physically but emotionally attached with him. Even if I don't know how he looks like, my feelings are still there. Nothing changed as of now, but I'm kinda nervous and excited to see the REAL him. The moment that I've been waiting for so long.. i know it's very near.
that i would ever see him in my eyes.
AFTER ALL that we've been through, i know soon things would be fixed for the both of us. I don't know where will we go, it's either to be strangers, friends or more than that again. We just don't know.. all i need is a little time to know him more. People will just call me I'm STUPID but everyone deserves a chance. For I know the sincerity in his heart, it's just that he's not that strong enough.
Now, I'm just observing everything.. for what is REAL and NOT. :)
"JUST EXPRESSING ^.^"
