HELLO! i don't know where or how to start this one, this is my first blog and i'll just put what i feel here this day. I'm just influenced by a friend of mine to post some blogs. Well gotta try, maybe this would be my hobby soon if i'm gonna like it :)
The moment i wake up this morning, i feel the "HEAVINESS" inside my heart.. i'm just depressed for what happened last night with my so called "lover?" or whatsoever. i'm just so effin stupid to feel this way out of my control! "pinagdududahan" ko lang naman siya the other night bcoz some of his GM's are just "nakakapagtaka".. so inside my mind i was thinking.. " may iba kaya siyang nagugustuhan?" bakit ganun mga GM niya somewhat like " dont be STUPID, you know i love you" "i act like i dont care but deep inside im HURT" FUDGE! i just don't know what to think or what?! :( i know that it wasn't me coz that time we're so okay. so dahil doon my fears came back, i'm afraid again that i would be hurt and it would be so deep for this time i do love him more unlike before. I'm afraid that he might fall in love to other 'GAL' better than me. i'm just a girl..simplest of the simplest girl, i have nothing to show or boast off, i don't have any talent or skills, i'm not that smart, and i'm not sexy. There are many girls outta there who's better than me, we are not in the same level, like LANGIT siya LUPA ako. He's a guy that every gir wants, smart, talented, well he came from a prominent and rich family, and of course he is handsome. compared to me i feel like "we are not BAGAY" :( it just makes me so low to think. But i'm lucky enough to have him, of all the girls chasing on him " OH WELL, YES TOO MANY OF THEM AND i have many KARIBALS dude!" i was the one who he fells to. I don't know what i did to him that he fall for me too. Even if i don't express much on him, he still continues to love me, i know i've been a problem to him because he had a hard time handling me. he always told me of all the girls he had i was the TOUGHEST AND HARDEST he had ever encounter, he makes a lot of effort just to prove it to me. But the problem is myself, sometimes i have doubts and hesitations towards him. maybe because of what had happened in the past. i know that he regretted for playing with me before that's why i'm kinda BITTER to him sometimes and he thought i DON'T TRUST HIM. i've tried to
bring back my trust on him, but it's just so hard sometimes, specially if i feel there's something not right.-___-
this is getting long huh.. out nako sa topic ko :) i have so much to say and just can't say everything here..
limited time lang. maybe if i have my free time i'll write our whole story here:)
and NOW... i just can't get him rid off out of my mind! for i was thinking the whole day on what to do, if i should text him and make things better.. or just do it the other day. i'm afraid he might not accept me for i hurt him again for making him feel i don't trust him. wish me luck! i really hope so things would be better between us ASAP! for i can't take this anymore.. i just can't live without him. i remember he told me last night, i'll just text his uncle's phone if i will need him already and if i have trust on him na-____-.. whut thee.. why should it be in his Tito's CP -___- OA namn kasi, ibblik na niya ang phone na hiniram niya sa bestfriend niya :( i'll just end my speech here for i have to do some things pa :)
i'm kinda relieved here for expressing myself. oh my PAPA'S here..BYE!! :D
